Monday, November 22, 2021
My classes begin at 8 in the morning. I usually wake up at 7:30 am and sometimes 8 to start my day. Everything is online so I have a lot more free time. However, in order for the class of 2022 to pass our CSEC exams, we would have to attend face to face classes.
I set my alarm at 5 because despite my efforts if I wake up a 6 or 6:30 I would arrive at school exactly 8 or 30 minutes after. My plan failed because I slept through my alarm and woke up at 6:30. This means I only have 30 minutes until 7 and then 1 hour until 8. I don't want to miss my bus like the last time.
I did not have time for breakfast and I rushed out of my house for a taxi. I get exactly 800 dollars for my lunch and fare. I'm still kinda bitter about that but that's a story for later. I was so sleepy on the bus ride to Spanish Town, I was half sleeping. Do you know the feeling when your eyes are close but you swear you are seeing, you are aware of every single thing around you? It's like your senses have heightened and you are bucking but acting like you are awake?
I know, that feeling is very specific. Starting to think I am the only one who experience that.
I got off the bus and luckily saw a classmate who walked with me to school. We got there at exactly 8 am. Unfortunately, for me, this means that I have less time to socialise.
One thing I love about face to face is the energy. There is talking everywhere, there is always someone walking past you. You are hearing a mixture of every class and you talk to your friends about the stupidest of things but it does not matter because they are there with you in person. I had no time to be thinking about social media, I wasn't even bothered when my friends took out their phones and used them. I was just glad for the company, I spent approx 2 hours on my phone overall.
Tuesday, November 23, 2021
If I am being honest I have been watching Keeping up with the Kardashians all day. I constantly checked my Whatsapp like someone wanted to talk to me and I was only half paying attention in class. This is the student who has exams next week, I checked my schedule and I realised that I had a 1000 word script due in a week, I have only completed 1 SBA out of 6 and I haven't started studying for my exams that will begin next week which apparently will be consisted of both papers 1 and 2. And I am pretty sure a rat bit me.
I am so exhausted just thinking about it. This is the thing about Procrastination it's very easy to do but is mostly hard to fix. I have literally known about this script since summer and I would always push back writing it. "Writer's block", that was my excuse. Then I would think about the fact that I could not write a simple script how can I write a whole column in a newspaper or how could I ever finish my many books.
Then I would give myself anxiety and I would just find something else, anything else to distract myself and save my work for another day closer to the deadline. I am at the point where I just don't want to care and just want to go through life worry-free, give me the CXC exams now so I could just get over it.
I have pleats to iron, toodles.
The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. -Psalms 28:7 (NLT)
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